About my moms.

I have really amazing parents, let that be known. They gave us 4 idiots the most beautiful childhood. I still feel homesick for it on most days. I'll write more about that some other time because it really is a huge part of my thoughts. So, this is about the time I realized I was old enough to cuss around my parents. Not that I get away with it in adulthood, my mother will still make a weak effort to correct us with the reminder that she "didn't raise sailors." Except that she kind of did.

My parents did not let us watch much TV. PBS was fine but I would've been spanked (not really, but that was my constant fear) for watching The Simpsons or Roseanne. I have a completely separate but very important post concerning Roseanne & my glasses...I'll save it for another time. There was one definite caveat to the TV rule, for some reason old episodes of SNL were okay. Like I remember watching it and my parents walking in the room, my heart beating and my mind racing for how I could get out of the definite spanking that was in my future. Instead, they would sit and watch it and laugh when I laughed and ask if I "got that joke?" I always said "yes."

Two skits were my favorite: Candygram Shark and Weekend Update. I'm talking about Dan Aykroyd weekend update. There was one in particular in which would debate politics with Jane Curtin. And herein lies my access to my first cusses with my parents. During this scene, Dan Aykroyd said, "Jane, you ignorant slut." I laughed. Then panicked. Then realized my parents weren't there to witness this and so I laughed even more. It was the way he said it, I loved it. Still one of the funniest things to me. Fast forward to high school.

I was arguing with my mom about something and I was being really really sassy. In high school my forever fear of getting spanked turned to a forever fear and flinching of getting slapped. On this day, I was so on the verge of getting slapped. My mom was getting more and more agitated, even verbalizing that she was about to smack me. We were both frustrated and so to make it all stop because I didn't know what else to do I said, "Jane, you ignorant slut." And waited to get hit.

Instead, my mom laughed. And she said it back to me and we both laughed. And ever since then I've cussed around them when necessary. Or when completely unnecessary. Either way, that's how it happened. And so my mom (and sometimes dad now) will employ this little trick when we feel like we want to smack each other or change the subject (see text sample below).



It totally works.

*Currently listening to: Kathleen Edwards & Charles Bradley